He told me they were "dating", and had the idea I should drive them around, pay for movies and so on, and make myself persona non grata because he thought (realized) people go on "dates" without their parents.So far I've been able to steer through a very narrow navigable channel, but I'd like to establish a dating policy (which I didn't need to do when my other son was this age, because he was slow to mature and a bit socially awkward).
He has a healthy interest in girls, although he doesn't have much of an idea how to go from fantasy to reality yet.But a female friend of his from school has been calling their play dates "dates." The truth is that when we pick her up and take them to the swimming pool, or whatever, they just yak about stuff, go down the water slide again and again -- to us it looks like a normal play date.What is an effective dating policy for a 12yo boy, in terms of what age he may start, and any constraints he should have for the next few years?Please clarify your specific problem or add additional details to highlight exactly what you need.I told him, "It's too soon for 'dating' but 'play dates' are fine; and every day is too often for talking to her on the phone." (He has OCD and tends to want to phone friends compulsively.) But he wants to know when he can 'date' and I don't know what to say.
The closest I've been able to come to articulating a dating policy is to laugh a bit and say, If we're driving you guys around, that's a play date, not a date!But, reporters quickly found the girls real ages — along with personal contact information — were visible to other users via their profiles.Seeking Arrangement has more than 10m users worldwide — the oldest of whom are in their 80s.(This piece of advice is completely independent of his relationship with this particular girl.) As far as "when can he date," I'd tell him when he can drive himself and his date to the movie, pay for dinner himself, and generally show evidence of being able to handle himself in a responsible manner without a parent.That ties it to specific, relevant milestones rather than an arbitrary number (plus, it reduces your role as either gatekeeper or enabler).It doesn't sound like the kids are doing anything age-inappropriate, or inappropriate in general.