Just as assuming the body language of a confident person will make you feel more confident, acting as though you’re already friends with the girl you’re calling will help spur your own connection with her.By acting as if you’re friends already, you’ll be far more relaxed and comfortable talking to her – which comes across as “I am used to talking to women and likely have a number of them in my life”, triggering the pre-selection attraction switch.
Which is why instead of treating that first phone call as some sort of date audition, you should assume that the two of you are friends already and treat her accordingly.It’s the “fake it until you make it” principle and it works as well here as it does in the other areas of your life.It’s no wonder then that a lot of guys prefer texting to phone calls; you have time to compose a reply instead of tripping over your own tongue (or dick, let’s be honest here) trying to say something witty or cool in real time and avoiding that dreaded seven minute lull punctuated by “So…anyway…” If you’re the sort of person who gets nervous talking to someone you like on the phone – whether it’s for the first time or the fortieth time – then the best thing you can do is warm up before hand. Just as you wouldn’t want to start running a 5k cold or to start pumping out reps on the bench press the minute you roll into the gym, you shouldn’t stress calling that new number without getting yourself into a more relaxed, easy-going headspace first.You don’t want to just be one of her many orbiters who’s always asking her out; you want to be someone whom she to seeing in person.
And if you’re dripping with flop-sweat and stammering nervously every time you have to pick up the phone to call a girl, you’re never going to be that guy.
Similarly, making a callback to a joke or a moment that the two of you shared before she gave you her number will make you stand out; now you’re not just a random name, you’re associated with a specific event – and that association will be another way of making sure that you’re more memorable than the other Joe Randoms who’re trying to date her as well.
I’m a big fan of open questions to when I’m flirting with someone new as a way of sparking conversation.
A lot of guys, geeks especially, can feel somewhat intimidated by calling the girl they like.
Believe me, I can understand; I’ve been there enough times, when the adrenaline surges as you’re punching the numbers and you heart pounds as the phone rings and you find yourself silently praying for a voice mail instead of a live voice on the other line.
And because your brain takes it’s lead from your body and behavior, when you act as though you’re friends already it will help build that connection almost immediately.