In her twenties or thirties, her inbox is going to be very full and she doesn’t have to initiate contact. As you get older, the men have a much wider selection of age ranges of women to pick from. _____ The above is an excerpt from Jasbina’s interview with Julie Spira and Dale Koppel. Jasbina Ahluwalia Julie, as a cyber-dating expert, what do you think of women initiating contact with men online? Julie Spira My thoughts are that, as a woman gets older, she needs to start initiating.
New research from University of Texas sociologist Shannon Cavanagh is proving that women who initiate contact with guys online are better off for it.
Women who make the first move, meanwhile, have more control over their dating pool.
The findings were released by the The Council on Contemporary Families and are part of a larger ongoing study.
They can just sit back and wait for the women to contact them. Julie Spira The man who you ended up with now, did you write to him or did he write to you? As soon as you make contact, you need to take a step back and let the man do the rest of the courtship. Jasbina Ahluwalia In your mind, especially for certain age groups, it’s beneficial for women to initiate the contact but, after doing so, to step back and let the men pursue. As a former practicing lawyer who also holds a graduate degree in philosophy, Jasbina can relate first-hand to the demands and challenges facing her accomplished clients.
Koppel, you wrote, “I knew instinctively that I couldn’t sit back and wait for men to contact me. Most men, especially those of a certain age, don’t need to contact women. I tell women that it’s fine to select men that you’d like to write to. Dale Koppel & Julie Spira Listen to the entire interview on i Tunes _____ The uniqueness of Intersections Match comes from the life experiences of its Founder, Jasbina Ahluwalia.
As a rule, I found that the men who did contact me were not men I wanted to meet.” Can you tell us about that? Dale Koppel Men, especially when they’re first online, get a tremendous number of responses from women. I think the men who start writing to women are men who have been around the block a few times. I also feel that I speak to a lot of women who say, “I’ve been online for two years and I can’t meet anybody interesting. Every man who writes to me, I have nothing in common with them.” I say to them, “How many men have you written to first? ” They say, “I don’t do that.” To me, the idea is to take control and feel that you can meet somebody by going to them first. That was where I felt that I had my best successes. As you get older, you will notice that you don’t get as many emails. Jasbina, the important thing that women need to understand when they say, “I’m not writing to a man,” there are some great men out there who are really busy. They’re flattered when an attractive, intelligent woman writes to them. A real man will pursue that woman who has flirted with him by initiating contact. ______ Couples who met through online dating mediums, who initiated the online conversation? The entire interview transcript is at: Julie Spira – Dale Koppel Interview – Insights In Online Dating Listen to the entire interview on: Intersections Match Talk Radio – Jasbina’s Lifestyle Show Listen to the entire interview on Blog Talk Radio: Navigating Online Dating: Discussion with Dr.